


We Will Stand Stranger To Brother

by obsessedwriter



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Banshee Lydia Martin, Beacon Hills High School, Dark Stiles, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friendship, Helpful Deaton, Hurt Sheriff Stilinski, Hurt Stiles, Love, Memory Loss, Psychopath Theo Raeken, Recovery, Rough Sex, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Bromance, Scott is a Good Friend, Sex, Stiles-centric, Stilinski Family Feels, Temporary Character Death, Theo is a Little Shit, Were-Creatures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-03 11:03:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8710033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessedwriter/pseuds/obsessedwriter
Summary: Stiles dies during a mission with the pack, but his best friend can't accept his death. Deaton knows a way of bringing Stiles back to life, but makes it clear that there will be consequences for tricking the death.





	1. The Death Of Stiles Stilinski

Scott McCall never thought his life would turn out like that. A few years ago he thought the hardest thing he would ever have to manage was getting through High School. He hadn't been popular, he used to have one Asthma Attack after the other and his grades hadn't been the best either. But never in his life, even after the big turn of events as he got bitten and turned into a werewolf; after Kanimas and sacrifices and Banshees; after his life had become an absolute nightmare of supernatural creatures including himself becoming one of those, never had he thought the hardest thing he ever had to do would be carrying the lifeless body of his best friend in his arms. But that was his reality now. The big wound on Stiles stomach soaked them both in warm thick blood.

“Stiles, please! Stay with me, okay? Stiles? Stiles!”

He screamed at his best friend, his brother, his anchor. But deep down he already knew it was too late. He couldn't hear his heartbeat anymore, couldn't feel Stiles breath on his arm. But these were things he ignored. Stiles Stilinski never gave up, so the last thing Scott could do was keeping it together and staying strong, because he knew Stiles would do the same right now. _If he wouldn't be dead already._

When Scott ran out of the building, it felt like everything was set to slow motion. Lydia running next to him, red hair flying around her head, eyes big out of fear starring ahead of them where the Sheriff turned slowly around. His eyes widened at the sight of his son's motionless body getting carried by Scott, one arm hanging loosely at his side and swinging back and forth with every step Scott took forward. The Sheriff's look on his face brought Scott to tears all over again and his sight got blurry. He carried the most important person to the Sheriff in his arms and he knew he was dead. He couldn't tell the older man though, he hoped of some kind of a miracle that brought Stiles back before he had to tell his father that he just lost the last person that was left for him.

The Sheriff came up before him and grabbed Stiles' face in both his hands while crying his son's name. But he wouldn't get a respond. Scott knew. Because he had been spending the whole time screaming his best friend's name as well and had never gotten an answer.

"W-we need to bring him to Deaton." Scott whimpered lowly, while still carrying Stiles in the direction of the cars.

"No, no, we bring him to the hospital."

"Sheriff-"

"No! I don't know what happened, but I'm over this supernatural bullshit!" Stiles' dad screamed. He looked furious and desperate and.. lost. Scott understood. The Sheriff trusted the pack, he even was kind of a part of the pack, but that didn't mean he liked the fact that Beacon Hills was full of supernatural creatures. And when it came to his son he would rather trust the humans.

"It'll take longer to the hospital and Deaton knows what he's doing." The werewolf reasoned.

"For Christ sake, he's a vet, Scott!"

"You know he's more than that. And you know he's able to do more than normal doctors ever could." Scott shot the Sheriff a lingering look, before Lydia opened the car door for him. He climbed in with Stiles still in his arms, resting him on his lap, so he would be able to get him fast out of the car as soon as they got to the Doc. Lydia was immediately by his side, reaching over his chest, so she could stroke the cheek of her dead boyfriend. New tears were welling up in her eyes as she felt Stiles' cold skin under her fingertips. She knew he was dead, too. Because she was a Banshee, a harbinger of death and she had screamed for Stiles so loud, she was sure whole Beacon Hills heard it. The only thing keeping her at bay was Scott. He had to have a plan. Stiles was always the one with a plan, but now it needed to be Scott. He was sure Deaton could help, so Lydia tried her best not lose it, even though she wanted to scream and cry and this time not because she was a Banshee.

Scott could see the rest of his pack running out of the building just as the Sheriff hopped into the car. He gave Scott a look through the mirror and started the engine. The ride to the vet felt longer than any route Scott had driven so far. And that meant something because not long ago he, Stiles, Kira, Lydia and Malia had been driving all the way down to Mexico. Scott blinked away some tears and starred down into Stiles face. It was hard to see his best friend lifeless when he usually was full of energy, full of life and never resting. Stiles was never quiet, he talked a lot, never sat still. Stiles had absolutely no filter for anything. Scott imagined if it was the other way around, if he would be lying in Stiles arms instead, his best friend would probably be drumming his fingers on Scott's body, would be bouncing his legs up and down and would ask his father every three seconds how long they still had to drive. But it wasn't the other way around. Stiles was silent and motionless. And it was all his fault.

_ Scott wiggled his hands. He tried his best to struggle out of the thick robe that's tightly bound around his wrists. They'd ran right into Theo's trap. They'd wanted to take him down, lock him up until they talked some sense into him. Theo and Scott had never been friends and even though everyone knew Theo had bad intentions, they all lived more or less in peace together. That was until a week ago Theo started to get more and more reckless. He showed openly his powers and wasn't afraid to use them if someone got in his ways. And that was something Scott couldn't tolerate. He maybe wasn't Theo's Alpha, but he sure as well wouldn't accept such behavior that was dangerous for his pack. The Argents weren't hunting them down anymore, but Scott was sure there were more people like them out there. So they'd made up a plan. They didn't want to kill Theo, but everyone agreed that he needed to be stopped. But Theo knew somehow, they played right into his hands. And now Scott, Stiles, Kira, Liam and Lydia were tied up at the ceiling, hands hanging above their heads, toes planted on the floor. The only hope left were Malia, Isaac and the Sheriff who all three were waiting outside the building. Theo had threatened to kill someone, if Scott tried anything to escape, but he hadn't believed him. Because even though Theo once tried to kill Scott, he didn't think he could actually go through with it and kill someone his own age. He was so wrong. _

_ Theo turned his back to the pack. Scott was weakened by the mountain ash, but he fought for all his strength left in him. His face shifted, fangs forming in his mouth, eyes turning red. He looked to the others, everyone giving him encouraging nods. So he took a deep breath and howled into the silent room. The sound echoed from the walls. Malia and Isaac would hear him, even the Sheriff would hear it, even though he wasn't supernatural. Theo's head whipped around with an angry glare on his face. But the glare only lasted for so long. He took the knife, he'd put into his back pockets before, and twirled the blade on his finger. _

_“ That was a really stupid idea, Scott." Theo said while walking slowly toward Scott. He stopped when he stood right before him, noses almost touching. "I did tell you to keep your head down, didn't I? I did tell you THAT I WOULD KILL SOMEONE IF YOU WON'T LISTEN TO ME!" He sounded angry, but he had a big grin on his face now. Theo took the blade and placed it on Scott's throat. “You should have listened to me.”_

_“_ _ Please don't hurt him!” Kira squeaked beside Scott. _

_ Theo looked at her and his smirk got even bigger. He traced the knife along Scott's skin while still looking at Kira. “I won't hurt him.” His gaze switched to Scott. “Well, not physically anyway.” He stepped back, taking the knife with him. His eyes burned holes in Scott's and all he could do was stare right back at him. Before anyone could register what happened, Theo's arm drew back and he threw the knife to his right with force.  _

_ Theo still looked at Scott, but Scott's head turned to side only to see that the knife stuck to the handle in Stiles stomach. He faintly heard Kira scream at the sight, but he almost didn't hear her. All he could take in was the scene right before him. His best friend with no supernatural powers spluttering blood out of his mouth and down his chin.  _

_ Stiles looked to Lydia, her face shocked and already soaked in tears, before he turned his head to see Theo walking toward him. _

_“_ _ I'm sorry Stiles, I really am. That was absolutely unnecessary, but actions have consequences.” Theo said casually. He grabbed the handle of the knife and turned it in Stiles stomach, slashing it further upwards, causing Stiles to cry out, tears welling in his eyes. “Dying with the knowledge that your best friend killed you.”, he continued with a sigh. _

_ Stiles opened his mouth for a sarcastic respond, but another wave of blood pooled out of his mouth instead. Theo pulled the knife out of the body and cut the robe between Stiles hands. As soon as he was free, he fell down along the wall, dust whirling around him. Stiles looked up to Scott and tried to focus his sight. He mouthed a silent 'brother', before falling on his side.  _

_ A loud roar ripped out of Scott's chest, his eyes glistening redder than anyone of them had ever seen. His muscles rippled under his shirt, claws forming on his fingers and with all amount of strength he could muster he ripped the robe on his own hands in two and landed on his feet. With a quick motion of his hand he used his claws to cut through Liam's bonds, who's eyes were glowing golden because of his Alpha's roar. Liam quickly jumped to action and freed the others, while Scott was already punching in on a startled Theo. Kira ran to Stiles' side. His breathing stocked and his eyes rolled back and Kira reached out to him as if she could help him through her touch. She turned her head to Scott to tell him that Stiles had stopped breathing, as another loud scream echoed through the room. Everyone held their hands to their ears, trying desperately to block out the grieving scream of the Banshee. _

_ Malia and Isaac stumbled into the room, ears bleeding from the unexpected scream. They both couldn't believe their eyes as they saw the scene in front of them. Stiles bleeding, lifeless form lying on the floor and Scott jumping off of Theo to run to Stiles, while all the others stood shocked with tears in their eyes around them. Lydia was the first to move as Scott bend down to take his best friend in his arms. “Take care of him.”, was all Scott said to his pack with a nod in the direction of Theo's unconscious body, his voice sounded broken and rough. He took a few steps forward, before he increased his speed and ran out of the room, Lydia following immediately. _

The plan was to take Theo down, so everyone would be safe. Well, as safe as one could be in Beacon Hills. And sometimes you couldn't reach your goal without sacrifices. Scott knew that. But this was to much. This wasn't a necessary sacrifice. This was tragedy.

The Sheriff came to a stop and Lydia jumped out of the car even before the Sheriff could pull the key out of the engine. Scott struggled a bit with Stiles in his arms, but the older Stilinski was quickly by his side helping him, while Lydia was already pounding against the door to get Deaton's attention. He opened the door with a worried look on his face, but turned fully professional as soon as he saw Scott carrying Stiles body. They all went inside and Scott laid Stiles down on the table, taking a step back to make room for Deaton, but he chose to hold Stiles' hand though.

“What happened?” Deaton asked while pulling Stiles' shirt up, his slashed wound full on display. The Sheriff's hands began to shake at the sight and Lydia took them in hers. She needed just as much comfort as the father. They both stood near Stiles as well, non of them able to leave his body.

“Theo he.. he threw a knife at him with enough force it got stuck in Stiles' stomach. He turned it and twisted it. Stiles threw up blood. I- I don't know everything happened so fast.” Scott stumbled over his words, but the room was so silent, everyone could hear him clearly.

Deaton placed a hand on Stiles' cheek and turned his head, so he could reach his neck better. He placed two fingers on his pulse point and even the Sheriff knew he wouldn't feel anything. But that didn't made it easier when Deaton looked at him and shook his head. He placed his hands over Stiles' eyes, even though their were already closed.

“I'm sorry, Sheriff, there's nothing I can do. He's already-”

“Don't. Don't say it.” The Sheriff pleaded.

“It doesn't make it unreal, just because I don't say it out loud.” Deaton said softly.

“There needs to be something you can do, anything!” Scott threw in, his eyes filling with tears again. “He- He's my best friend, he's more than that, he's my brother and I.. he.. I CAN'T ACCEPT THAT!” Scott started to scream even though he knew that wouldn't change a thing. He had an idea now how Lydia felt all the time when she went full Banshee. He just couldn't take the pressure inside his chest anymore, so he screamed.

“I'm sorry. But there's no natural way to save him.”

Maybe Lydia and Stiles were the brains in his pack, but Scott wasn't dumb either and he knew Deaton always chose his words wisely. He turned his gaze to the doctor and looked him straight in the eyes.

“No natural way.”

“No.” Deaton had known Scott would notice his choice of words.

“So there's a supernatural way then?” This time Lydia picked up on it, too. Her voice was rougher than usual and she sniffed silently after her question. Her hands were still tightly wrapped around the ones of her boyfriend's father.

Deaton lowered his head and looked down at the young dead body. He knew how much this boy meant to the three people in the room. Stiles Stilinski; the only son and only family of Sheriff Stilinski, the most loyal and genuine friend of Scott McCall and the protective boyfriend who'd had the biggest heart on earth which was full of love for Lydia Martin. Alan Deaton knew Stiles would have done anything for the people he loved. He would even die for them and now he actually did. Deaton always tried to keep the line between humans and supernatural creatures straight. Stiles' death was tragic, but it was also natural. Even the way he died was natural, a knife could have killed him any time. Supernatural creatures around or not. But he couldn't help but feel a dull ache in his chest by just thinking about denying them his help.

“I may have a way to bring him back but-”

“Do it!” Scott said immediately. Deaton held up a hand and continued. “But it's dangerous.” _Of course it is_ , Scott thought. “Tricking the death.. such things have consequences.” Scott frowned deeply. Theo had said almost the exact same words when he turned the knife in Stiles' stomach.

“I can't live like that. My son isn't even dead for an hour and I'm already falling apart. We're going to deal with whatever consequences will follow.” Lydia nodded to the Sheriff's words and Scott turned his attention with a look full of hope back to Deaton.

“Anything could happen to him. Maybe he won't feel any emotions anymore, maybe he's going to suffer from nightmares just as he did as the Nogitsune possessed him, maybe his whole personality will change. I can't guarantee he's staying unaffected by it. So are you sure you want to do this to him?” Deaton wanted to make absolutely sure that this could end really bad for not just them but Stiles as well. The boy was strong, but Deaton didn't know what exactly was going to happen to him. Lydia and Scott were both looking at the Sheriff. As much both of them loved Stiles, in the end it would be his father's choice. They wanted Stiles back, but not without the permission of the older man. He looked back to the kids, sharing a long and meaningful look, before nodding.

“We will stand together. We're going to help him, we're going to make it. Together.”

The Sheriff spoke the final words. Deaton glanced at the man in front of him a last time, before he turned around and went to the cupboards. He searched through a few of them, collection little bottles with herbs and strange colored fluids. Scott asked if he could help with anything but the doctor declined, he said that everything needed to be done the right way and he didn't want to take any risks. Scott agreed with him and only watched instead, just like the other two. The mood wasn't as dark anymore as before, there was hope for Stiles, but Scott tried not to get to excited about it. He and the whole pack hadn't had so much luck lately, there could always went something wrong. He couldn't stop the skip of his heart, as Deaton turned with the mixed cure around, though. Deaton took a syringe and filled it with the liquid. He stepped forward and placed the tip of the needle over Stiles heart. Scott placed a hand on the doctors back as he felt him hesitate and that was all it took for him to pierce the needle through the body and shooting the yellowish liquid inside. He waited a few seconds before taking the syringe back out and placed it on one of the counters.

“Scott, disinfect Stiles' wound, please.” Scott looked over to the doctor, but followed his request. He watched Deaton from the corner of his eyes, while simultaneously concentrating on his task. The Doc was sterilizing his hands, then he put some latex gloves on. Scott made room for him as he came up beside the table with a needle and suture thread in his hands.

“You're getting better and better, Scott.” Deaton praised him with a smile. “Would you adjust the light as well?” Scott did as he was told, even though he was confused as hell. Deaton leaned forward and started stitching up the torn skin on Stiles' stomach. Lydia scrunched up her face and averted her gaze. “He's going to heal from the inside out. His organs will be okay by the time he wakes up, but superficially wounds like scratches heal slowly, not to mention a big slash in his stomach.” Scott and the Sheriff nodded in sync and watched the doctor work. They were all nervous, neither of them knew what exactly would happen. But what mattered most was that Stiles would be with them again.

When Deaton was done he cleaned everything up and put a bandage on the wound. Satisfied with his work, he slipped off his gloves and threw them in the trashcan. He sat down in his chair and looked over some papers. He felt the questioning stares of three people on him, so he looked back up and put a genuine smile on his face.

“Now we wait.” Deaton explained to them, before going back to his paper work, calm as ever. The three of them stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. The Sheriff was the first one to move. He gave Lydia's hands one last squeeze, before he took the other chair that stood in the corner and placed it next to the table where he was standing before. With a exhaust sigh, he let himself sink on the chair. He gave a quick look over Stiles' bandaged up stomach, a shiver creeping up his spine at the sight. He rubbed his hands over his face. It felt like he didn't sleep for years, he was so tired and drained.

Lydia smiled sadly down at her lifeless boyfriend and stroked her finger through his messed up hair. She always complained about it when it stuck in all directions, but in truth she loved it when it looked like that. He looked like a rockstar. Her rockstar. She gave him a quick kiss on his forehead, leaving a light red mark on his skin with her lipstick. With a heavy beating heart she made her way to the counters where she hopped on, still facing the table so she wouldn't miss a thing.

Scott stayed put where he was. He didn't feel like sitting, he was way to nervous for that. Again he imagined Stiles being alive and waiting for someone else to wake up from the death. A grin formed on his lips as he thought of Stiles pacing the room up and down until someone would shout at him to finally calm down, then a sarcastic answer would follow, before Stiles would start walking around the room again. They knew each other for so long, since they met at the age of four they had never been apart. Where the one went, went the other as well, as if there were strings attached between them, always pulling them in the same direction.

An hour went by and nothing had happened. Everyone except of Deaton got impatient, but neither of them said anything. Scott got several texts and phone calls and he was sure Lydia got the same amount, they both didn't answer them though. He knew it wasn't fair, but they didn't knew much yet anyway. Scott would write his pack as soon as Stiles woke up.  _ If he wakes up _ , a voice in Scott's head was nagging. He ignored it.

Stiles suddenly sat up, sucking in deep breaths in way to quick drags. He started to hyperventilate, he couldn't breath, there was no air. Scott and the Sheriff were still by his side and tried to calm him down instantly. The other two came quickly by. Lydia looked frightened, Deaton eyed Stiles suspiciously. Scott took Stiles face in his hands, trying to calm him down somehow, but Stiles shook his head wildly and struggled away from Scott. He slipped off the table and caught himself on the chair the Sheriff was sitting on before, but his legs were too weak and he fell onto the floor. Tears were streaming down his face, as he grabbed at his throat desperately as if he could drag some air in his body that way. With panic in his eyes he looked up at the others. Lydia and Scott were falling down to their knees beside Scott, Deaton took the Sheriff by his arm and prevented him from doing the same. Stiles looked frightened and the doctor reasoned he would feel cornered if they all were around him.

“Stiles, hey, listen to me. You need to calm down. Breath, okay? Breath with me.” Scott talked slowly, trying to appear calm and relaxed even though he had nearly a panic attack himself.

“I. Can't.”, was all Stiles managed to say. His voice sounded hoarse and broken.

“Focus on me, Stiles. Look at me and breath with me. In.” Scott took a long breath in. “And out.” He breathed out again. “Come on, do it, Stiles. In and out.” Stiles tried his very best to focus on the brown eyes before him, he starred right into them as he followed the orders. Breathing in and breathing out. In and out. In and out. In and out.

“That's it, buddy.” Scott said smiling, but as he stopped talking to his best friend, he stopped his breathing as well. “No, don't stop, Stiles. Breathe. In and out. You can do it without me now.” Stiles repeat Scott's voice in his head. In and out. He breathed. In and out. He calmed down, his heartbeat slowed down into a normal rhythm, just as his breathing stabilized. Stiles took in his surroundings, confusion showing on his face. The Sheriff crouched down to his knees, too, now that Stiles looked calmer.

“How are you feeling, son?” The older Stilinski asked carefully.

“Where am I?”, he asked instead of answering his father's question.

“We're at Deaton's clinic. He took care of you.” Scott answered him. Stiles furrowed his brows and looked back to Scott. A light smile was on his lips as he reached his hand out to pat on his friends shoulder. Scott couldn't believe he was here again. He had been so afraid to lose him. Stiles frown deepened at the friendly touch.

“And who are you?”

 


	2. Memory Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, so it's almost 5am now and I wrote the whole night the end of the chapter. I just couldn't stop even though I'm so tired :'D I'm still overly excited about this story, so I hope you enjoy reading it just as much. xx

Scott starred dumbfounded at his best friend in front of him. The friend he already knew for 14 years, the friend who helped him go through his werewolf bite and so much more. The friend he grew up with as if they were brothers. The friend who obviously couldn't remember him and 14 years of friendship anymore.

"What do you mean, Stiles? It's me. Scott."

He swallowed nervously at the look Stiles gave him. He looked overly confused and his whole body was tense as if he wanted to jump up any second and run away. Scott took his hand off of his shoulder, he didn't want to pressure him and if he really couldn't remember him anymore, he probably didn't want to get touched by a stranger.

"Why did you say it like that? Why did you say it like I should know who you are?"

"Because you should know me. I'm your best friend." Scott's chest tightened uncomfortably, but he tried his best to stay calm and collected. He spoke softly and slowly, in hope he could something wake in Stiles that would help him remember.

"My best friend." Stiles repeated warily. He eyed the boy in front of him. Friendly brown eyes returned his gaze and a small encouraging smile played on his lips.

"Here, drink this." A voice suddenly said beside him and Stiles twitches out of surprise. He had been so lost in thoughts that he almost forgot there was more than one person with him in the room. He turned his attention towards the man who spoke to him. He had a glass in his hand and nudged Sties lightly to take it. Stiles did, but looked suspiciously at the liquid.

"It's water." The man clarified. Stiles was sure this one was the doctor, because he wore a white lab coat. He had a smooth calming voice and there was something about him Stiles couldn't quiet place, he just seemed wise and trustworthy. So Stiles pushed his doubts out of his mind and began to sip on the liquid. It was water indeed.

“Do you know any of us?” The doctor asked even though he already knew the answer. Stiles shook slightly his head and muttered a short 'uh uh', while draining the rest of his water. He placed the glass beside him on the floor and that's when he realized, he was still sitting on the ground. He still felt a little dizzy, so he just stayed where he was.

“Well, I'm Alan Deaton, you can call me by my last name, everyone does. I'm a veterinarian.”

Stiles nodded and waved with his hand to the side to gesture to one of the many animal sketches on the wall. “Yeah, I figured as much, Doc.” Stiles observed the other two people left in the room, which Scott noticed immediately. Maybe Stiles couldn't remember anything, but he still played the perfect detective, looking for any detail in the room that could help him out and solve a part of the puzzle inside his head. Stiles' eyes landed on the Sheriff's star badge. He pointed at it, before looking the man in the eyes. He looked tired and worn out. “And you're the Sheriff. Did I do something wrong?”

A sad smile formed on the Sheriff's lips. He didn't know what to feel. He was overly happy to see his son breathing and alive, but the concern grew more and more in his chest. How much exactly couldn't his son remember anymore? His whole life? Just all the people he knew? The Sheriff sighed and answered Stiles' question.

“I am the Sheriff, but you didn't do anything wrong, don't worry.”

“Then.. then why are you here?”

“Because I'm your dad, Stiles.”

Stiles' eyes grew large and he opened his mouth several times to reply, nothing came out though. His hands found their way to his head and he shoved his fingers between the strands of his hair, clawing at it frustrated. Why couldn't he remember anything? These people claimed to know him, but he couldn't remember one of their faces. He didn't know if he should trust them or if he should run or hide or..

“Maybe we should call it a night.” Deaton spoke again. “You should get some rest and maybe everything will come back to you tomorrow.” The doctor took Stiles' glass and patted the boy's shoulder once, before he straightened up again and went to the chair he had sat on before. He was still unsure about his decision. Of course he was relieved to see Stiles back again, but he couldn't help but feeling as if there would be a lot more consequences than just memory loss. He tried his best to hide his uneasy feelings, though he was sure Scott could already smell his weariness.

“Soo..” Stiles started. “Where exactly should I get some rest?”

“At home, in your bed. Maybe you'll remember your room when you see it.” The Sheriff answered.

“Uhm.. I don't think I'm going with you.”

“What?”

“I can't remember anything, I won't go to a place some people claim there's my home.”

“Stiles, you can trust me, I'm your father.”

“But I don't know you!” Stiles raised his voice slightly. He was so confused and tired and angry. How could he trust those people? Maybe they were the reason he couldn't remember anything anymore. Maybe they just pretended to be his friends and family, even though Stiles couldn't come up with a reason why anybody should do something like that. The worst part of it all, was that he couldn't trust his own judgment, because he didn't even knew himself. He didn't know who he was.

The room was silent after Stiles' outbreak. Everyone thought and felt the same. Stiles was alive, he was breathing and present. But it didn't feel like he was really with them. Because he couldn't remember them anymore. There was still hope though. Maybe it wasn't permanently and Stiles would remember everything in a day or two.

“Okay.” The Sheriff took a deep breath. “You don't have to trust me as your father, but as you said yourself, I'm the Sheriff. So you'll be safe with me.” It seemed exactly like he said. His voice changed from a worried father to the professional soothing voice of a cop. And Stiles seemed to pick up on that, too. He looked to the man and noticed a small golden name tag on the Sheriff's uniform. It said Stilinski. Stiles slowly raised his hand and carefully touched the imprint letters on the plate with his fingertips as if the name could trigger some memories within him. It didn't.

The older Stilinski looked down as well and waited patiently for his son. But the frown on Stiles' forehead only got deeper, it didn't seem like any memory would come back to him soon, so he took the boy gently by his arm and gestured his head to the direction of the door.

“Come on, son. Let's get out of here.”

Stiles struggled to get up. A sharp pain jerked through his abdomen and he pressed his hand reflexively against his stomach with a hiss. He dropped his gaze as he felt a big tear in his shirt, underneath was a white bandage on his body. Strangely, that was the first time he noticed that his hands were bloody and dirty as well.

“What happened to me?”

“You err.. you got attacked.” Scott answered vaguely.

“Attacked.” Stiles muttered. “How?”

“Stiles, there's a lot we need to explain to you. How about we tell you everything on the way home? Lydia's car and my bike are still standing in your driveway, so we need a ride anyway.”

Lydia. Stiles didn't hear that name before, but he guessed it was the name of the only person left in the room he didn't knew by now. She was pretty quiet the whole time, but had looked at him just as worried as the others. He glanced at her from the side. She was so pretty, he needed to remind himself to breath again, before he fell into another panic attack. Her strawberry blonde hair was slightly messed and of her make up was not much left, but that didn't change a thing about her beauty. By now Stiles was fully gawking at her, he didn't seem to notice though, way to distracted by her big green eyes and her kissable full red lips. How in hell didn't he notice her before?

Lydia just stood there and a small smile formed on her lips. Stiles was so obviously checking her out and she enjoyed every second of it. He didn't seem to remember her, but it appeared he was just as interested in her as before. Scott chuckled at his best friend and the sound seemed to take Stiles back into reality. He flushed furiously as he realized he got caught, but tried to play it cool by straightening his shoulders and clearing his throat. He turned to the doctor who was watching the whole scene amused.

“I guess that's your work.” Stiles gestured awkwardly to his stomach. “So.. thanks I guess, for patching me up and stuff.”

“You're very welcome.” Deaton answered with a smile.

The three teenagers were heading out after that, Scott had an arm around Stiles to steady him, it was the first time he seemed to accept the help. Lydia was trailing behind the two friends, while the Sheriff stayed behind for a moment. He thanked Deaton for all what he did; for bringing back his son and for overstepping his own morals.

Scott helped Stiles into the passenger seat, before climbing with Lydia in the back. Stiles looked at his reflection in the side mirror, seeing his face for the first time. Bewildered brown eyes starred at him through the mirror. He looked pretty fucked, there was blood on his chin and he had dark circles under his eyes, but he guessed that was just the result of the events this evening, even though he couldn't remember those. He traced his fingers over his fore head, there was a big scratch and he suppressed a hiss as he touched it. He let his fingers trail down his slightly upturned nose, down to his lips and then to the side of his face, following the line of the moles on his left cheek, which went all the way to his ear. He let out low snort and fell back into the seat. This was so ridiculous.

They waited a few minutes in silence until the Sheriff came out of the clinic. He didn't look so bad anymore, his body was less tense and his whole demeanor appeared lighter. It had been hard for Scott to carry his dead best friend in his arms, just as it was hard for Lydia that her boyfriend's death caused the Banshee in her to scream. But neither of them could imagine how it must have felt for the Sheriff to see the dead body of his own son soaked in blood. They already had this tragedy once with Allison and neither of them needed it to happen a second time. Scott wished they could have helped her, too.

As soon as they were on the road, Stiles began to ask questions again. His father couldn't help but grin. That was just a typical Stiles-thing to do, asking one question after the other until someone couldn't take it anymore and rescued everyone of his unstoppable babbling. This time, and the Sheriff was sure of it, no one minded the constant echo of Stiles' voice in the car.

Scott answered most of Stiles' questions. The first thing he explained were the supernatural facts, that such creatures existed, which kind they already knew of, what they were able to do and everything other he could think of. Stiles was surprisingly quiet the whole time Scott talked, until he mentioned the fact that he himself was a werewolf, a True Alpha even, and Lydia a Banshee. Stiles started to laugh unbearably loud, while pulling one of his legs up his chest, which caused his wound to sting slightly. Scott huffed silently, before letting his face shift into his wolf features. He leaned forward, so his face was between the two front seats.

“Hey Stiles.”, was all he said. Stiles turned his head, only to come face to face with deep red eyes, furrowed brows and sharp fangs, their noses almost touching. He let out a shout and backed up against the window. He starred at the boy who claimed to be his best friend, who in return began to laugh loudly, his face changing into his normal form back.

“Don't ever do that again, Scott!” Stiles barked, but Scott just smiled about how easily his name fell of his best friend's lips.

Since that moment, Stiles kept gazing every few seconds over his shoulder to Scott, keeping him in sight. Scott noticed, but didn't mention it. Instead he explained how Stiles was the one who found out what the bite had done to him and that he had also been the one who helped him find his anchor and get his control back. Stiles believed him, how couldn't he after what he just saw, but he didn't know how to feel about all of that. That didn't stop his curiosity though, so he listened to everything Scott had to say to him and asked questions whenever he didn't understood what Scott had been talking about. It was a lot of information, but Stiles was happy about it. He didn't felt so left in the dark as he had felt before.

At the point, they arrived at the Stilinski house, Scott was telling Stiles about Theo and how he got killed by him. It still sent chills down his spine and he could see the Sheriff tensing up as well. Stiles' hand moved unwittingly to his stomach, his fingers stroking through the torn part of his shirt. He swallowed thickly. It didn't quiet get into his head that he had actually died and couldn't remember anything of it not to mention anything of his previous life. He still didn't knew how much he could trust these people and if they really told him the truth, but for now he didn't have another choice. They were the only people who could answer all his questions.

“But why did he kill me?” Stiles asked, while hopping out of the car. The others doing the same and Lydia came up to his side to steady him. Butterflies made their way through his whole body at her touch. He ignored it as good as he could, while sliding his arm carefully around her shoulders so he could stand up straighter. “I mean, he could have taken the werecoyote, that would have been way more hurtful for you, wouldn't it?”

“Malia?” Scott asked confused.

“What? I thought Kira is your girlfriend.” Stiles stated.

“She is, but she's the Kitsune.”

“Oooh.. yeah, right. Then why not her?”

“I don't really know, Stiles. It isn't like I asked him you know. We went to the same class a few years ago, so he knows we're best friends for quiet a while and that I couldn't live without you by my side. Or maybe he thought Kira could use her powers against him somehow.”, Scott spoke his thoughts out loud. He hadn't really thought about the why before, because the answer wouldn't have brought him any further with Theo. He briefly wondered how Theo would react as soon as he found out that Stiles was still alive.. or more like alive again. Stiles nodded to Scott's words, before he turned to the house and went to the front door with Lydia ,where his father was already waiting. But then he stopped abruptly and looked back to Scott.

“Wait, how long exactly are we friends already?”

Scott smiled at his buddy, he really wanted to hug him and delve into his happiness, that Stiles was here with them, but he thought better of it. “For fourteen years, we met when we were four.” While Stiles' eyes were bugging out of his head, Scott went to Lydia for a quick side hug and told her he would text the rest of the pack about Stiles. Then he waved a quick goodbye to the Sheriff, before glancing one last time at his best friend. He didn't want to leave, but he didn't want to pressure Stiles either by staying. He tried to hold onto the fact that the Sheriff wouldn't let anything happen to his son. Putting his helmet on, he sat on his bike and drove off in direction of his house where his mom and Kira would be waiting for him.

Stiles, Lydia and the Sheriff went into the house. The older man flipped the light switch and and a cozy living room came into their view. Even though Stiles never saw the house before, he felt like home. The furniture had scratches, the leather on the sofa was slightly torn at a few places and it just felt like a family had been living here happily. His family, Stiles clarified in his head. He let go of Lydia and took a few careful steps inside.

Slowly he traced his hand over the wall, eyeing a few pictures and he stopped as a group photo came into his sight. Stiles recognized Scott, his somewhat uneven jaw outstanding on the picture, but Stiles thought it made him look unique, just as the moles on his own face. Lydia and himself were sitting next to Scott, along side with three other teenagers he didn't knew. One of the girls had long dark hair and looked kinda Asian, he guessed that was Kira since Scott had an arm wrapped around her shoulders and she was tightly clinging to him with a bright smile on her face, but maybe that didn't say much, because Lydia was sitting on his own lap with an arm slung around his neck and his hand was resting on her waist. Someone would had said something if the strawberry blonde beauty was his girlfriend, but no one did, so he guessed they were just good friends and comfortable around each other. The position looked intimate though, however the whole group seemed to be really close. The other girl had shorter hair, it was a dirty blonde or light brown and curled slightly at the end. She was smiling into the camera, while leaning her head against Lydia's and she was holding hands with a guy he didn't knew. He had almost the same hair color as the girl he was holding hands with, they didn't look related though. His eyes were much bigger and blue. Her's seemed to be brown from what he could see on the picture. The last person he hadn't seen yet was standing beside his dad. She had long curly brownish hair and a friendly smile on her lips. Stiles guessed she was the same age like his dad. They all looked like a family together. The younger ones in the front and the two older ones behind them. It felt strange looking at all the smiling faces he seemed to be so close with, but simultaneously having no clue who they really were. He felt a bit more comfortable though, because the pictures were prove that Scott and Lydia really were his friends and he could trust them.

Stiles looked briefly over the other pictures on the wall. There was one more of Scott and him, wearing jersey shirts with a Beacon Hills print on them. Scott wore number 11 and Stiles himself a 24. He guessed they were in some kind of sport team. Another picture showed two kids grinning at each other and Stiles was pretty sure it was him and Scott again at a younger age. The fourth picture that got his attention was a wedding picture of his dad and another woman he hadn't seen yet.

“Is that my mom?” Stiles asked and broke the silence. The Sheriff came up to his side and smiled at the picture. He knew the next question which would follow, would be harder to answer, but he already prepared himself.

“Yes, that's your mom. Claudia.”

“Where is she?” And there was the question.

“She's no longer with us. She died from frontotemporal dementia.”

“Oh. I'm sorry.”, was all Stiles said. They were talking about his mother's death and of course he felt emphatic for his father, but he couldn't remember her or the way she had died, so it was kinda hard for him to figure his feelings out.

“That's okay. We still have each other and we're a pretty good team, too.” The Sheriff tried to lighten the mood and succeed as a light small played on Stiles' lips. Behind him Lydia cleared her throat, as she shifted from one leg to the other.

“I still have some stuff in you room, so I'm going to grab it real quick and then I'll be out of here.”, she said, while making her way toward the stairs. Stiles followed her without her asking. He was curios what his room looked like. They went in silence in the direction of his room and it was still strange to him that other people knew so much about him and he didn't knew anything. Lydia waited in front of a door and gestured to it with a smile. Stiles slowly made his way toward the door which was ajar so he got a first glimpse of his room, before he opened the door completely. They stepped in and Lydia waited politely at the door for a moment, letting him observe his room.

It looked pretty simple, mostly colored in blue, a desk to his right and a double bed to his left. There were several posters on the walls and a few pictures as well. It was clean, but not too tidy though. His desk was overfilled with books and papers, a water bottle stood on his nightstand and several other items showed, that here actually lived a teenage boy. The only thing seeming out of place, was the huge board standing before the window. There was something written on and a few newspaper articles were pinned to it, each one connected with red strings.

The pictures on the wall showed pretty much the same people as downstairs, there were another two of Scott and him and one with the whole group together again, but it were three specific photos who got his attention, all of them with Lydia in it. There was one on the wall with just the two of them. Lydia wearing a beautiful short blue dress, her hair was curled and she had a little ribbon on the right side of her head. Stiles stood behind her in a simple black tuxedo, having his arms around her middle and his head ducked beside hers. On the second picture, which stood on the nightstand, they were standing on a huge field and he was wearing the red Beacon Hills uniform again, holding a helmet and a stick in his one hand, while his other arm was slung around Lydia's middle. She was standing close beside him, having one hand on his chest, while she stretched herself up on her heels to kiss his cheek. The last photo was only of her. It was a Polaroid. She had no make up on, only her smile gracing her features. Her hair was tussled and she only seemed to wear an oversized shirt, while lying on her stomach on his bed, her legs swinging behind her in the air and her elbows rested on the bed, hands propping her head up. She looked absolutely breathtaking.  
Lydia came up beside him and smiled softly, before bending down to take a pink bag from under the desk.

“You're my girlfriend.” Stiles couldn't hold back his words, they just babbled right out of his mouth after he had thought them. That seemed to be a habit of him. Lydia's head whipped around, a hopeful glance in her eyes and Stiles instantly felt guilty, because no, he couldn't remember.

“The pictures.” Stiles said uncomfortable, while pointing at the wall. “And well, you seem to have some of your stuff here.” He scratched the back of his neck and averted his gaze after seeing her face drop. How in hell could he get a girlfriend like that? She was so beautiful and helpful and understanding. His stomach turned, as he saw her sadly packing a few of her clothes in the bag. A nauseous feeling spread through his whole body and before he knew it he was running out of the room and he opened the door across from it which lead fortunately into the bathroom. He made it on last second as he fell on his knees before the toilet and threw up.

“Stiles!”, he heard Lydia's worried voice cry out for him. She was instantly by his side, rubbing a hand over his back, while he heaved into the toilet. With one hand he grabbed the bowl, while the other was instinctively searching for her's. She grabbed it with her free hand and rubbed soothing circles over his skin with her thumb. The Sheriff heavy steps echoed through the corridor, before he stopped at the door of the bathroom, taking in the scene in front of him.

“What happened? What's wrong?” He asked in a worried voice. Lydia looked to Stiles who had stopped throwing up, she still continued to stroke his back though.

“I- I don't know. I just felt sick all of a sudden.” Stiles whispered. He stayed on his knees a while longer, just to make sure he was really done, before letting Lydia help him up. His legs shook underneath him, but he pushed himself up non the less. He flushed the toilet and then went to the sink to rinse is mouth and splash some water into his face. The dried blood on his chin dyed the water in a light pink. Lydia still stood beside him and rubbed the small of his back. It felt good. He allowed himself to enjoy her touch a little while longer, before he turned around to face her.

“Thank you.” He put a small smile on his face and then looked to his father. “I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you. I'm fine now.” The Sheriff looked sceptically, but held whatever words were on his tongue back, instead forcing a smile as an answer. His gaze lingered for a few seconds, the worry for his son still plastered across his face. Stiles noticed, so he went to him. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, but then he closed his arms around his father shoulders and squeezed him once. The Sheriff returning the hug instantly.

“I swear I'm fine.” Stiles muttered in his father's shoulder. “I'm going to shower now and after that I try to get some rest, okay?”

The father huffed out a sigh, before he broke out of the embrace. He nodded, while patting his son once more on the shoulder. “Call me, if you need anything.”

“I will.” Stiles promised. After his dad went back downstairs, he returned his attention to Lydia. Neither of them knew what to say, so they moved in silence back into his room. She took her bag and hung it over her shoulder. Smiling she pointed at a dresser in the corner.

“First drawer are your pyjama pants, second one your boxers.” She explained. “And in the third are our sex toys.”, came as a whisper across her lips. Stiles swallowed hard as he gawked at her for the second time this evening. He didn't knew how he usually was around her, but he had a feeling she wasn't as innocent as she looked like and that was something she could easily tease him with. Lydia chuckled at her boyfriend's expression, before standing on her toes and kissing him on the cheek. “Good night, Stiles. I'm going to check in on you tomorrow.” With that she went out of the room. Stiles stood there like he was suddenly rooted to the ground, but when he came back to his senses, he quickly ran to his bedroom door, stumbling over his own feet as he did so. “Good night, Lydia.”, he called after her. His heart was beating rapidly against his ribcage, he punched his chest in an attempt to slow his heartbeat down, but of course it didn't change a thing.

Stiles tried his best not to be disappointed as he heard the roar of Lydia's car outside. Instead he went to the dresser and opened the drawers to find his clothing exactly where Lydia had said. He hesitated for only a second, before bending so quickly down to the third drawer, he bumped his head on it. He growled and rubbed his head with the hand he held his boxers and pants, the other opened the drawer only to find what seemed to be Lydia's underwear. Well, it weren't sex toys but he wasn't disappointed either. He stroked through the fabric of her underwear, but then he pulled his hand quickly out of the drawer again. He was an absolute creep for going through a girl's underwear like that even if technically it was his girl's underwear. She still was his, wasn't she?

Stiles shook his head before he could over think things again and quickly grabbed a shirt which was thrown over the chair by his desk and then went into the bathroom again. He shrugged out of his shirt, careful not to disturb his wound to much and got rid of the rest of his clothing as well. Stepping into the shower, he switched the water on and waited until it got warm, only then moving under the spray. Stiles sighed at the feeling of the water on his tense muscles, he stood there a few minutes long, just enjoying the water on his skin. At some point he grabbed the shampoo and started to wash his hair and after that his body.

He felt so conflicted, because he really wanted to stay in the shower, but he felt way to drained and tired for that. So after he washed himself clean, scrabbling the blood and dirt off his skin, he got out of the shower again and dried his body and his hair with a towel. After slipping into his fresh clothes, he found himself standing in front of the sink again, starring at the three toothbrushes. Red, blue and pink. He guessed the pink one was Lydia's since she had some of her clothes and underwear here, it only made sense she would have a few cosmetics and other stuff here as well. Blue could be his, if he went after the colors of his room. But guessing didn't get him any further. Stiles opened the door and stuck his head out.

“Dad?”, he called. It felt strange, calling the Sheriff like that. The pictures had shown Stiles, that this was definitely his home and that the man downstairs was his father, but that didn't change the obvious; he couldn't remember anything. He heard quick steps coming up the stairs and then the Sheriff came into his view.

“Everything okay?”

Stiles felt bad for putting this man through all this trouble. He was still so worried about the whole situation and he was almost sure his father wouldn't get much sleep this night.

“Yeah, I just.. well I don't know which one is my toothbrush.”

“Oh.” Realization floated into the older Stilinski's mind. It was just a simply question, but he couldn't help but feel anxious as Stiles had called him. And absolutely no one could judge him here, because his son actually had been dead and the Sheriff's heart still clenched achingly at the thought.

“It's the blue one.”, he clarified after only a few seconds of silence.

“Thanks. Good night, dad.”

“Good night, son.”

Stiles turned to brush his teeth, after that, he took his dirty clothes with him and went to his room. He dumped the clothes, except of the shirt, in the hamper, fishing his phone out of his jeans pocket beforehand, which he didn't even realized he had in there until then. He pressed the home button and Lydia's smiling face showed up on the display. He looked at the picture for a while, pushing the button every few seconds, so her face would show on his phone again. Eventually he placed his phone on the nightstand, he didn't knew the pass-code, so he couldn't do much with it anyway. The shirt still in his hand, he sat down on the edge of his bed. He traced his fingers over the sliced up hole in the fabric. It bothered him so much that he couldn't remember! He starred on the shirt for a long moment, when no memory popped into his head, he crumpled it together and threw it on the floor. With a sigh he turned off the lights, before climbing into his bed and under the covers.

His body needed rest so much, but his mind was whirling unstoppable. There was so much he still didn't understood and he felt so lost and hopeless. He didn't even know where to start. When you lose your whole identity and you don't know if you're even able to get any of your memories back, what the hell are you supposed to do? Was there a guideline for that anywhere? Because he needed one badly. He couldn't just start over and start a new life, for that he was way to curios and there were people who loved him. That was something he knew. And even though he couldn't remember them, he wouldn't be able to just leave them and force them to forget him as well.

Stiles turned endlessly in his bed for almost an hour, before he had enough and threw the cover off his body. He flicked the light on his nightstand on, blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the brightness and then got out of bed. He took the big board and rolled it forward in the middle of his room. The information didn't help him, so he took his phone again and pressed the camera icon to take a picture of the board. He didn't knew if maybe Scott still needed to know all the things on there, so he took the photo and turned back to the board. He used the eraser to wish everything away, after that he pulled all the newspaper articles and red strings off as well and placed them on his desk. He took the pencil and wrote a new headline on the board.

Who is Stiles Stilinski?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments below :) xx


	3. Who am I?

Stiles was still standing in front of his crime board. In fact, he was standing there for hours. He had been up the whole night, writing everything down he knew by now. It wasn't like he could have slept anyway, his brain just wouldn't shut up. There was so much he still didn't understand, so many lingering questions. He felt a headache coming up.

Sighing he rubbed his hands over his face, while sitting down on the chair he had placed in front of the board. He took the bottle off his nightstand and drank a few gulps of water. His eyes wandered over all the facts he had written down. In the middle of the board stood his name, underneath he wrote the things down he knew about himself. 18 years old; Scott had said they're friends for fourteen years and had met when they were four. He had been looking for his driver's license as well to look for his birth-date, which confirmed his assumed age.

There stood also his actual forename. It was Mieczyslaw. How in hell he should pronounce that he didn't know. He wrote the name down anyway. The other fact he knew, was that he played lacrosse, he had seen it on the pictures and a lacrosse stick stood in a corner of his room. He had found a bottle of pills on his desk, which was labeled as 'Aderall' and had looked it up on Google. It got mostly prescribed for ADHD, so he had written the disorder down with a question mark at the end. He would ask his dad about it later.

He didn't find out more about himself, well he did find out a few other things, but nothing really important. He had checked the names on the posters hanging on the walls, which were all punk and rock bands. He liked the music, so he let it play softly in the background. He found two chessboards, one in a shelf and one on the desk and there were lying some school papers around, each marked with a big red A, at least he seemed to be somewhat smart. There were also a lot of books in his room, so he figured he liked reading and/or doing research. He was actually sure, he was good at doing research, because technically he did it right now. The only difference was, he wasn't looking for information of some creepy supernatural creatures anymore, instead he was trying to find out more about himself. He even searched for a diary or something similar, but hadn't found anything.

All around Stiles' name on the board were the names of the others. He had his own name and Scott's connected with a blue string - blue was for friendship. Under the name he had written the words 'werewolf (True Alpha)', 'best friend (14yrs)' and 'lacrosse teammate'. He had Scott's and Kira's name connected with a red string, which stood for relationship. Under her name stood 'Kitsune'. His dad and his own name were marked with a green string, which was the color for related and he also had written down that his dad was the Sheriff. He used the green one with Melissa 'nurse at BH Hospital' and Scott as well.

Stiles had hesitated for a moment, before he tied his name and Lydia's with red. There was something between the two of them. Of course Lydia felt attached to him, because technically they were dating, but Stiles had felt something too whenever Lydia had touched him and he couldn't forget the strange sensation he had felt as she kissed him goodbye and drove home. Stiles had touched the red string one more time, before continuing on and connecting the rest of the names with the string.

He used the red one once more with Malia and Isaac. Under each their names stood some kind of supernatural creature and Stiles briefly wondered, if he was the only teenage human left. The last names he had written down were Deaton 'veterinarian' and Argent '(ex-)hunter'. He connected Argent and Isaac with yellow, because they weren't related, but he was Isaac's guardian or something like that. Stiles didn't understand all of the relationships and had struggled with the names at first, but he was a little proud and impressed with himself when he had everything written down the right way, more or less. And now he was sitting in front of his work and looked over it. He would complete it with every new information he'd get during the next days, but for now there wasn't much more he could write down except for one thing. Stiles stood up, took the pencil and wrote in the corner of the board Theo's name with a big question mark.

Stiles definitely needed to find out more about this guy. Scott had said he's a manipulative charming guy, who can easily wrap someone around his finger, but Stiles had a feeling Theo was so much more. There are many manipulative people out there, but not everyone of them is also a killer. Well okay, Beacon Hills seemed to be the exception with almost everything, he couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something else going on though.

For a few minutes he just starred at Theo's name on the board, his leg bouncing up and down, while he gnawed at one of his fingers. He didn't get any sleep and he was really tired, but simultaneously couldn't stop moving. Maybe he should ask his dad if he had problems with sleeping before, because he had absolutely no clue how it was possible to feel so exhaust, and be on alert and awake at the same time.

A soft knock on the door ripped him out of his daydreams and before he could answer, his dad's head poked into his room. He let out a sound of surprise, before entering the room.

"I didn't think you'd be awake already." The Sheriff stated softly, he didn't look like he'd gotten much sleep either. He stopped in the middle of the room and looked over the board which stood before Stiles. "Eager, are we?"

"Uhm.. yeah, no, I was just.. sorting my thoughts I guess." Stiles answered vaguely. For some reason he got nervous at his father's sudden presence, which didn't do anything good to his already restless appearance. He started picking at his chipped lips.

The Sheriff sat down on the edge of Stiles' bed and looked over all the facts his son had written down. He nodded along while reading and couldn't help but smile at his son's cleverness. Even as a kid he had loved solving puzzles and had looked over his dad's files, some cases he actually had understood, with others he'd just pretended to know what's going on, but either way he had always been eager to help. To see him behave the same way he always had, gave the Sheriff some hope that Stiles would remember everything piece by piece. Memories were shaping the character, so deep down he just had to know who he really was.

“Need any help?”

“No.. I mean, yes.. I mean.. maybe..” Stiles stammered along. His dad started to laugh and stood up to go where Stiles sat in the chair. He laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

“You know we're pretty good at figuring things out together, but if you don't wa-”

“No, it's okay.” Stiles reassured his father. “I just try to figure out how to feel about everything. Maybe you can help me with the last names and fill in some other stuff?”

“Of course, son.”

As soon as both of them stood before the board, Stiles felt way more comfortable. He didn't think about how he should behave around his father, he didn't think about what to say, he didn't think about what to _think_. Solving the riddles in his head along side with his father felt right, as if he were at the right place.

The Sheriff helped him fill in the last names of everyone on the board, because Scott only had mentioned the forenames of their friends (and enemies), so that was all he could work with. But his dad could help out. He also confirmed that Stiles indeed had ADHD, but it wasn't so bad anymore as it used to be, he joked about the supernatural events being the perfect medication, because he could power himself out, he suggested taking his pills regularly though. There were some other things the Sheriff told him, like Malia being his ex-girlfriend, and Kira, Isaac and Liam being his teammates as well along side Scott.

He also told him about Isaac having panic attacks whenever he was in a small room, because his abusive dad used to lock him in an unplugged chest freezer, and Malia, who were eight years stuck in her coyote form, because she accidentally killed her mother and her little sister as a kid whilst turning. But they both got through their personal nightmare and felt better now.

Stiles knew his dad told him about it, so he would know he wasn't the only one who got haunted by demons and that he too could defeat his disorders. But the thought of his seem-to-be-friends being killers (just as Theo) with anger issues and uncontrollable panic attacks wasn't really calming. Though he tried not to judge them, because he wasn't in his best condition either. His dad smiled gently at him, he seemed to know what whirled around Stiles' head. He ignored Theo's name on the board on purpose, that was something Stiles needed to figure out on his own. When they were finished they looked both at their work. The younger Stilinski felt good and happy for the first time since he got here. It felt like he got a step closer to whatever direction he was going.

The Sheriff said he would go and make breakfast and Stiles could join him whenever he was ready. It was only 6:30am, but he had been awake the whole night and literally couldn't remember when he'd ate the last time, so he only went to the bathroom, before he trotted down the stairs, his bare feet making soft patting noises on the wood. When he entered the kitchen, he stayed at the door for a little while, looking around the room and taking everything in. It looked really familiar. His dad stood at the stove and made some pancakes and Stiles briefly wondered why he could remember the delicious taste of a pancake, but didn't knew his family and friends anymore. He figured it didn't bring him any further to guess around, so he just went to the cupboard on his right and took two cups out of it, as well as the coffee to brew it. His dad turned his attention to him and watched him the whole time until Stiles felt slightly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and played with one of the mugs.

“You make coffee.” His dad stated.

“Geez, thanks dad, wouldn't have noticed without you.” The sarcasm dripped off Stiles' tongue, just as usual.

“How the hell did you know where the coffee and the mugs were?”

Stiles immediately stopped his fidget fingers and looked to the cooking coffee. The brown liquid dripping into the coffee pot steadily. He really did know where to find the things. Frowning, he went over to one of the many drawers. “Flatware”, her muttered and then opened the drawer, the flatware coming to sight. It wasn't as if his mind was completely blank, he still knew his language, knew in which year he lived, knew how to use things. It was more that he couldn't remember the people in his life and a few things related to them. But it was strange that he couldn't remember the house itself, but knew his way around the kitchen, which was obviously part of the house.

A burning smell brought him out of his pondering and he heard his father swearing. The pancake had burned black and was now sizzling in the pan. The Sheriff scraped it out and into the trash, before placing the pan back on the stove, then he turned back to his son. The wonder and confusion clearly on his face.

“I just knew, it felt so natural doing it.” Stiles finally answered.

“That's good, that's great!” The Sheriff said with enthusiasm.

“Yeah, I guess so, but it's just confusing me even more.”

“Hey, we will get through this, okay? Maybe that's the first sign everything will come back to you again. It just takes a little time.”

Stiles nodded slowly, even though he wasn't so sure about what his father said. But he couldn't bring it over his heart to crash the Sheriff's hope. The older Stilinski brushed the lack of answer off and placed his hands on his son's shoulders to slowly push him to the table.

“Don't overthink it, Stiles. We're going to eat breakfast now, after that I need to go to the station, but if you want to I could just check in and come back home to you.” Stiles sat down while his father was talking. The Sheriff put the pancakes and some toppings on the table, before he joined his son.

“No, it's okay.” He answered and grabbed one pancake, topping it with cinnamon, blueberries and raspberries, just like he always did, which he himself of course didn't know, but his dad didn't miss this little detail. “Lydia said she wanted to come over today, so I won't be alone. Well, I don't know when exactly she planned to come, maybe she'll come tonight, but maybe.. I mean she said she wanted to check in on me, so I guess she's going to do that as soon as she can. I don't know, is she a morning person?”

The Sheriff listened attentively to Stiles' rambling and enjoyed every second of it. The thought that his son would be dead right now, if it weren't for Deaton, and he would have never heard his son chatter about random things again, broke his heart all over again. But the sadness didn't last long, because he had Stiles back, he was sitting right in front of him and babbled about Lydia. It felt like nothing had changed, but the Sheriff knew better than that of course. He wouldn't rest on that little success. He would bring Theo down with the help of the pack.

“Yes, whenever she sleeps over, she often wakes up at the same time I need to get up for work. And then we sit here, like you and me right now, or she makes breakfast for you or she's reading, while you drool on your pillow upstairs sound asleep.” Stiles had shoved half of the pancake in his mouth, while his dad told him about Lydia and as he said the last sentence, Stiles stopped chewing, his mouth agape and the mush pancake on full sight. He almost looked offended, but his thoughts quickly wandered to Lydia. He imagined her in one of his shirts, just like he saw on the polaroid picture, lying beside him in bed and reading silently, looking beautiful as ever. His dad snapped his fingers a few times in front of his face and when he paid attention again, he got scolded about displaying his half chewed pancake. Stiles swallowed thickly and took a sip of his coffee. Damn Lydia, he didn't really know her, but he could easily see why he was dating her. She was something.

He and his dad continued to eat their breakfast together and were talking about everything Stiles could think of. He asked about school, about his dad's workplace and what he was doing on his free time. Stiles definitely wanted to get to know his father better and even though he still was a bit suspicious, he believed him when he'd said that the both of them were a good team. They seemed to have a good relationship and Stiles was happy about that.

When they were finished, the Sheriff made sure his son was okay and had everything he needed, before he left for work. He felt anxious to leave Stiles alone, especially because he knew his son wouldn't sit still and it wouldn't be the first time he got himself in trouble out of pure curiosity or boredom. But he tried not to pressure him to much and Lydia would come over as well, so it wasn't like Stiles would be completely lost and alone.

After his dad had left, Stiles started to clean the dishes, even though the Sheriff said he didn't need to do it. But he desperately searched for things he could do to stop his brain from overthinking again. He hoped Lydia would be here soon, though he didn't know what she had planned for them. Stiles was sure everything would be better than sitting alone at home and asking yourself questions you couldn't find the answers of.

It was around 7:30am,, when he was finished in the kitchen and Stiles was still alone at home, not that he expected something else this early. So he wandered around the house, went to the rooms he hadn't seen yet, before he ended up in the bathroom again where he brushed his teeth and washed his face. He looked at himself through the mirror and he definitely looked better than yesterday, but he was still pale and the circles under his eyes dark in contrast. His lips were chipped and his eyes a little bloodshot, his hair sticking up in every direction, so he tried to soothe it down a bit without much success. He surrendered to his hair and went to his room instead to put some other clothes on. It felt like going through someone else's stuff when he looked through the closet, but he tried to remind himself, that this was his room and everything in here belonged to him. He just pulled his pants up when he heard the bell, followed by a knock on the door. Stiles quickly jogged down the stairs, one hand on his still unbuttoned jeans, before opening the front door with such enthusiasm that he knocked it against is forehead. With a groan he held the door open with one hand and touched his head, where a red mark was already forming on, with the other, causing his pants to fall loose around his legs. He heard Lydia's suppressed giggle, Scott standing behind her and barking out a laugh. Gasping he fumbled his jeans back up and buttoned it. Stiles felt so warm all of a sudden, he only could imagine how red his face must look.

“Hey.”, he tried to sound casual, but he knew he failed miserably. It wasn't that big of a deal, especially in front of his best friend and his _girlfriend_. Even though he didn't know how much Lydia had seen of him exactly already. He wondered how long they were together, so he decided to ask.

“Have we already- I mean how long are we actually together?” He scolded himself at his first question, which had almost slipped out of his mouth. Scott's face was enough prove that he knew exactly what Stiles wanted to ask first.

And Lydia knew too. “Don't worry, I saw you in less than just your boxers.”

Stiles rolled his eyes and crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest. “Well, that wasn't what I asked.” _But it was good to know though_. “So?”

Lydia smiled knowingly at him, but didn't say anything else, until Stiles demanded an answer to his actual question. “We're together for nine months now.”

“But it was a back and forth game for years.” Scott added amused. The strawberry blonde girl huffed as a respond and pushed Scott to the side to show her annoyance. She hooked her arm around her boyfriend's one, it felt nice doing so. She really had missed him the night. After everything that happened to him, she had preferred to sleep with him in the same bed. And she had a feeling, he wouldn't have minded so much, which was a good thing. If the worst thing that could happen actually would happen, if he wouldn't ever remember anything of his previous life, maybe they could at least save their relationship. But Lydia really hoped everything would end well, because it did feel different when he couldn't remember her, as if he wasn't really himself.

 _He's with us again, that's all that matters_ _._ Lydia repeated those words like a mantra.

“Are you ready to go?”, she asked.

“Ready to go where?”

“To the lacrosse field at the High School. We're going to meet Kira, Malia and Liam there.” Scott filled in. He figured it was a good place to meet. First he wanted to meet up at Derek's place, but he guessed a public place would be better, so Stiles wouldn't have to be anxious about going to some mysterious place with them. Also, it was Monday tomorrow and if he thought about going to school, he would at least now where it was.

“Uh yeah, okay. I just need to grab my phone.” Stiles said, while he loosed himself gently off Lydia, so he could go up the stairs. He quickly went into his room and took his phone, shoving it in the back of his jeans, then he grabbed the checkered shirt on his chair and put it quickly over his black t-shirt, letting the buttons open, so it hung loosely from his shoulders. After that he ran right back down the stairs to the other two. “Does anyone of you know my pass code?”

“Yeah, it's 7462.” Scott answered.

“What does that stand for? It isn't a random number, is it?”

Scott laughed awkwardly and scratched his head. “No, it's the letters behind the numbers. It stands for 'Scott is my bro'. I've got the same code since your name starts with the same letter as mine.” Lydia tried to bite back a laugh, but it didn't help much. Her giggling sounds surrounded them, while Stiles looked dumbfounded at his _bro_ _._

“You serious?”

“Dude, we made that up when we were fifteen.”

“That was only three years ago.”

“What can I say, we're kids at hearts.” Scott smiled sheepishly.

Amused, Stiles shook his head at that. He actually could imagine both of them being the childish ones. Scott just seemed so youthful and happy and he himself was.. well, full of energy that needed to unload on some way or another. He grabbed the keys off the coffee table beside the door and swung them in the direction of Scott and Lydia to show he was ready, so the three of them went outside and for a moment they stood there and thought about which car they should take. Scott asked Stiles if he could remember how to drive and Stiles was pretty sure he could, so he said just that. Lydia suggested they could drive in the Jeep then, thereby Stiles could actually try to drive. Hence they went over to Stiles' blue baby, he and Scott in the front and Lydia voluntary in the back. Stiles started the car and easily pulled backwards out of the driveway and onto the streets. He grinned proudly at his best friend and then to the girl in the back, both of them smiling as well, before he drove down the street. After that he followed Scott's navigation.

“Did you remember anything over the night?” Lydia asked. “Like in a dream or something?”

“No, I didn't sleep that much.”

“And with 'not much' you mean not at all?” Damn, she knew him well.

“Yeah, but I did knew where all our stuff in the kitchen was. I went right to the cupboard with the coffee and the mugs in it without even thinking about it.”

“Hey, that's great!” Scott threw in. He sounded just like the Sheriff this morning. “Don't pressure yourself. If everything comes back to you soon that would be awesome, but if you need time that's okay, too. We get through this together.” Stiles frowned briefly at Scott's words. Being optimistic was a good thing, but no one seemed to think of the possibility that he couldn't remember anything ever again. It felt like everyone was waiting for him to pass some important test, but no one thought of the option, he could fail.

The drive to the school was short, so they didn't get to talk about much more, which was okay with Stiles, because he grew more and more anxious. He was about to meat three other people, he was supposed to know already and it just didn't get into his head, that he actually forgot his whole life including all the people in it. And that he couldn't trust any one of them was simply the worst. They all assumed Stiles would treat them as friends, just because they said they were his friends. And yeah the pictures and all were prove enough, but that didn't change that there was absolutely no memory he could relate to them. When he looked at Scott, he just saw a teenage boy who seemed to be friendly and supporting, but not a best friend he knew for ages.

Stiles parked on one of the many free spots before the school, only one other car standing there and in front of it were the three teenagers waiting. They all turned around when they heard Stiles' Jeep.

“Don't be nervous. They're all great people.” Scott tried to calm him down. The other boy just nodded, before opening the door and hopping out of the car. He wanted to get this over with, he didn't like the strange feeling he had in his chest since he knew he would meet another three supernatural creatures. Pushing the door a little to hard closed, he went around the car and stayed near Lydia. She was supernatural too, but he felt less alarmed with her presence.

“Hey guys.”, said the boy, who Stiles guessed must be Liam. He looked like he was a few years younger than the rest of them and Stiles remembered Scott telling him about someone, who was younger than them.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, everyone seemed to wait for Stiles to say something, but he was silent, because he couldn't remember these people either, which had been pretty clear for him, since he couldn't place their names. He didn't know why anyone should expect something else. He suffered from fucking memory loss.

“I'm Kira.”, announced the Asian looking girl with the long dark hair. Stiles remembered her from the pictures. She looked like she wanted to hug him, but decided otherwise. The other two quickly followed her example and introduced themselves. After that it got really awkward again, because no one seemed to know what to say. Good thing Stiles could remember small talk.

“You're Scott's girlfriend, right?”, he asked.

Kira nodded and sent a soft glance toward Scott, before looking back to Stiles. “Yeah, it was a long run, but now we're at the goal. I- I mean, not that we're over now. A goal is usually the end, I know, but it can be a start too and -” “

Yeah, I got it.” Stiles reassured. He couldn't help but think, that Scott dated a girly version of him. She seemed to talk a lot, was a bit social awkward and she was constantly swinging back and forth on her heels, as if she couldn't stand still. Just like Stiles. He found that fact highly amusing and tried his best to suppress a laugh, but ended up laughing anyway. Scott frowned at him and asked him what was up. Kira looked a little insecure and Stiles felt bad, because he wasn't laughing at her stuttering before.

“Nothing man, I just kinda realized you're dating a girl version of me.” He said quickly, so Kira wouldn't thing he'd made fun of her. As soon as he spoke his thoughts out loud, Scott looked shocked in his direction. A few seconds long nobody said anything, but then everyone started to laugh along Stiles still lingered chuckling.

“I actually said that to you once and _y_ _ou_ were the one denying it.” Malia threw in, an amused sound in her voice, the others laughed even harder. And that was all it took to break the ice and to forget about the awkwardness before.

Liam took three lacrosse sticks and a ball out of Kira's car and waved them to the group, knocking one of the sticks against his head in process and grumbling lowly about it. Stiles thought that Liam appeared pretty harmless for a werewolf, he was a bit clumsy and just looked so young. It made Stiles less suspicious and helped him relax a little, even with Malia beside him, who looked, unlike Liam, as if she could and would, if needed to, rip his head right off his body. But his dad had said, he dated her a year ago and yeah, he didn't know how they ended their relationship, but she was here with the others, so he reasoned she still cared about him as a friend and wasn't going to kill him for whatever reason made them breakup.

They all went slowly to the field and Liam asked what had happened yesterday after Scott had brought Stiles to Deaton. Apparently, they had all been there as Stiles died and had taken care of Theo afterwards, while Scott and Lydia brought him back to life. His best friend told them what had happened, filling in the important details, but taking it as short as he could, because he just wanted to enjoy that little time they had for themselves, before something would come up again.

The three boys went to the middle of the field, while the girls sat down on the bench and for a moment it felt like they were normal teenagers. While they threw the ball at each other and caught it with the stick again, Stiles asked a few questions about the team and their coach. He could remember the game and how to play it, he just didn't knew anymore when the last time was he had played it. Liam and Scott told him everything he wanted to know, emphasizing especially the coach and the way he trained them.

At some point, Scott's phone, which he had given Kira, before the boys went on the field, vibrated in her hand. She looked down to it, before raising her head and calling Scott's name.

“It's Isaac.” She said while waving her boyfriend's phone.

Scott jogged over to her and pressed a kiss to her cheek, then he took the phone and answered it.

“Isaac?”

“ _Scott, I don't- I don't know how, but he's gone. Theo, he isn't in the cell anymore, he's gone_ _._ ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there didn't happen much in this chapter, but shit's coming up soon enough :D Also I want to thank every subscriber, bookmarker and comment writer. I'm always so happy whenever I see someone new follows this story, so thank you very much! xx


	4. Theo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy, I got his chapter done before Christmas. I'm sorry I didn't have any time anymore to look for mistakes, please don't hate me for it. Otherwise I wish you a Merry Christmas and happy holidays. :) xx

Everyone stood in the cell, which was in Argent's basement. The cell, Theo had been in. And now he wasn't anymore. Somehow he made it out, there wasn't even a smell Scott could have followed after. It was as if Theo never had been here. But he had been. The pack had made sure of it and Argent and Isaac had been checking in on him every hour. Scott didn't blame the both. He knew exactly what kind of guy Theo was.

Stiles didn't know how to feel, which was really annoying because it seemed like he was never able to place his feelings right since awaking from the death. Theo had murdered him and wasn't imprisoned anymore. However he didn't feel anxious at all, maybe he should, all the others looked pretty nervous, Stiles felt nothing though. He guessed it was because he couldn't remember Theo. But shouldn't he feel at least _something_? After all he knew that this was the guy, who killed him and everyone said he was dangerous.

Scott on the other hand started pacing up and down in the small room of the cell. Theo had killed his best friend only one day ago and now he was free again and could hurt somebody else as well. Scott didn't want revenge, that wasn't the way he behaved. But he wanted to try to change Theo, make him better somehow and if he couldn't do that, he would hold him the cell forever, so he couldn't hurt anyone.

His first priority however, was to keep Stiles safe. He didn't know how much Theo knew, but he was sure he would come after Stiles as soon as he found out he was still alive. He already wrote the Sheriff about it, he didn't want to know how he must feel at the moment. Stiles was the only person left for Stilinski and he had been so happy to have his son back, only to find out that Theo was free again, only a day after the big tragedy.

"So what are we going to do now?" Liam asked with a worried expression on his face.

At first no one said anything. Everyone seemed to wait for Scott to say something, but he didn't know what to do either. The only thing he was hundred percent certain of, was that they had to find him before something happened. But that was nothing new for all of them. His pack wanted to catch Theo as bad as Scott himself wanted. The question was, how they could do that.

"We could just wait, you know." Stiles threw in. Everyone looked at him with a shocked expression.

"Wait? For what? Til he kills you a second time?" Malia asked humorlessly.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of it? He didn't kill me, because I was a threat to him, he just wanted to get to Scott, which he already did. It wouldn't make sense for him to come after me, especially with everyone looking for him."

Scott looked at his best friend. He sounded so plain while talking about Theo, as if he wouldn't care that his murderer wandered through the town. The old Stiles wouldn't even think about saying something like that.

"Stiles, Theo is dangerous. And I won't risk that you get hurt again or anyone other for that matter.", he said finally to his best friend.

"So what do you wanna do, Scott, huh? Pacing around until you _maybe_ get an idea how to find him? And let's not forget about how to actually bring him down, because I don't think he's just gonna go with you as soon as you find him."

"You of all people would have agreed with me, okay Stiles? You can't remember him and everything he did, that's why you're talking like that." Scott sounded calm and understanding, but Stiles felt utterly alone after those words. He took a step backwards, while shaking his head at Scott, lips pressing angrily as a thin line together.

"Maybe I don't remember him, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. It makes my opinion even clearer, because I'm not blinded by things that guy did in his past." He ended his sentence and crossed his arms over his chest. The defensive move didn't go unnoticed by Scott. The last thing he wanted to do was offend his buddy.

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just.. you're not yourself at the moment."

"I am me, okay? I didn't ask for this to happen, but that's the way it is now and no one can change it, so yes, I am myself. I don't need memories to know my own opinion." Stiles got angrier with every passing second. Scott was supposed to be his best friend, so why was he talking like that?

The pack stood silent and uncomfortable beside them, no one wanted to interrupt the two friends. However the conversation seemed to get out of hand. In times like these, the pack needed to hold together and not fight among themselves. So Isaac decided to say something.

"Stiles, calm down. Scott's kinda right. Nobody says your opinion doesn't count, but Theo is really dangerous and we should trust Scott's instincts on this one."

"Why's everyone against me? It's not my fault I can't remember any of you." Stiles didn't want to stand there like a little brat, but he couldn't help but feel all alone in this circle of completely strangers. He wasn't comfortable and he felt like everyone judged him in silence.

"You are usually the one who never trusts anybody and right now we can't be sure to trust you, if you really think Theo isn't a wicked bastard." Malia said without filtering any of her words. She always said what she thought and she wouldn't stop doing it now.

Stiles huffed out an humourless laugh and just stood there for a moment, his mouth agape in disbelief. _They_ didn't trust _him_?! They all knew each other and could protect themselves, while he stood all alone with people he didn't know and now he was the bad guy? Scott and Lydia seemed to know in an instant what whirled around Stiles head right now and both of them took a step toward him, but he backed away and raised his hands in the air in a mocking way.

"This is ridiculous.", was all he said, before turning around and heading in the direction of the stairs to get the hell out of here. Scott tried again to go after him, but Argent laid a hand on his shoulder and stopped him.

"I need to go after him, he isn't safe all by himself." Scott reasoned. However Argent shook his head at him.

"He needs his space right now and I think he's right with one thing. Theo won't go after Stiles now. He wouldn't get any benefit out of it."

So Scott stayed put, even though he didn't like it. He had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach and he just knew something would happen sooner or later. But for now he couldn't do anything else than to watch the back of his best friend, as he climbed up the stairs, taking two steps at once.

When Stiles jumped into his car, he took a few calming breaths, before starting the engine. He didn't know the exact way home, but he figured it couldn't be that hard to find. They hadn't been driving long from the school to Argent and Isaac, so Stiles was optimistic to find his way back to the school and then to his home. It took him a while to find the place, but that didn't bother him one bit. He kind of needed the calming sounds of his Jeep around him, the familiar material under his fingers of the steering wheel. It grounded him somehow. He really didn't want to overreact back there, but he had been angry and it had felt as if his rage would bubble over any second. No one seemed to listen to him because he was just poor Stiles who couldn't remember anything. Stiles wondered, if it was always like that and if his opinion never really mattered and he normally just swallowed everything he felt down. But how it had been didn't matter anymore anyway, because he's living in the present and not in the past like Scott. He had no other choice than to start over and if he could accept that, his friends should too.

When he finally arrived home, he got immediately out of the car. The day had just began and Stiles couldn't wait for it to end. The first official day without his memories and he already got into a fight with friends. A part of Stiles new he kinda overreacted and that the pack just wanted to keep him safe, but another part, a bigger part of him felt like an outcast.

Slowly he trotted to the front door, walking through a corridor and into a living room that seemed familiar and unknown at the same time. Stiles _felt_ like he was at home, but his brain said him he didn't have a home, because there was nothing he could remember. Stiles scoffed at himself. He had a feeling his brain and his heart would have a few fights more in the future.

He went up the stairs to get to his room, tracing the walls with his fingertips on his way, trying to memorize every bump and scratch. He spent his whole childhood and teenage years in this house, grew up in it. Stiles never realized how much the word 'home' really meant.

Turning unmotivated around a corner to get to his room, he let his body slump against the door frame. He let out a exhausted sigh while looking down at his feet.

"Stiles, hey." Stiles jumped at the unfamiliar voice that greeted him and bumped his elbow against the door frame in process. He swore loudly and rubbed the injured area with a frown on his face. He eyed the stranger, trying to remember him from any of the pictures, but he couldn't place him. The boy in front of him had a friendly smile on his lips, though Stiles could see a wicked glint in his eyes.

"Theo." Stiles guessed and the other teenager's smile grew. So it was him. Every nerve in his body told him to run down the stairs again and out of the house to get the fuck away from that murdering freak. But instead he stayed where he was, only moving a few steps forward to grab the baseball bat that leaned against the wall. He swung it upward, ready to strike.

"You're way more stupid than I thought for coming here."

Theo raised his hands in the air as if he wanted to show he didn't mean any harm. But Stiles reminded the gesture much more of his own, when he had been mocking Scott and his other friends earlier.

"Get the hell out of my house."

"Listen, Stiles-"

"No, you listen. I have no fucking idea who you are or what you did or what you _do_ , and the truth is I really don't give a fuck. So get out or I'm using that bat on you, bastard."

Theo's brows raised up when he heard Stiles words. He was surprised and slightly confused. So he took a step forward, still holding his hands up, before speaking again. "What do you mean by 'you have no idea who I am'?"

"What do you think this means? It means exactly what it sounds like. I can't remember anyone, because _someone_ had killed me and my friends needed to bring me back to life." He replied annoyed. Theo starred at him for a moment before starting to crack up. He let his hands fall down his sides while laughing his ass off. When he looked up again and saw Stiles pissed off expression, he tried to get himself together.

"I didn't expect that, but I can work with that."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Stiles, I didn't want to kill you and I still don't." Stiles scoffed humorlessly at Theo's words. He couldn't believe this guy, walking in his home and telling lies, trying to talk his way out. Theo seemed to notice Stiles' doubts written on his face. He took another step toward him, but seeing how his hands tightened around the bat, he quickly decided to stay where he was. It wasn't like Stiles could really harm him, but it was just the way Theo had said earlier; he wasn't about to hurt Stiles, that wasn't his intention at the moment.

"Yes, I did kill you, but I knew Scott would find a way to bring you back."

"Makes sense to kill someone with the knowledge he'll come back anyway." Sarcasm was tripping of Stiles' tongue, but Theo continued as if the other boy hadn't said anything.

"I knew you would come back and I _knew_ this would have consequences. I just didn't knew what would happen. For me, I hoped you would turn a little more.. _void_." At the last word, a smirk grew on Theo's face again. Stiles couldn't see through him and that annoyed him. He wanted to know what Theo was up to, but nothing made sense what came out of his mouth. Stiles brows furrowed deep and Theo could practically smell his confusion.

"I always wanted you in my pack."

"Oh and you thought it would be a good idea killing me to convince me? Yeah, no, I heard enough. Get out now." Stiles growled deeply.

"Scott always made me the bad guy, Stiles. He wanted to keep you from me, keep _you_ from making your own decision." Theo explained calmly, standing in a completely relaxed position. If Stiles didn't knew it was Theo he was speaking with, he wouldn't feel the slightest bit threatened. "And now you can't remember anything anymore, but you're against me anyway, what means Scott already put his thoughts in your head." Theo ended with a sad expression on his face.

"No." Stiles bit out. He threw his bat at Theo's direction. It hit him in the chest, but he didn't even noticed it really, his eyes were trained on a furious Stiles stomping toward him and stopping just a few inches before him. "No one's putting thoughts in my head, I can think for myself. And what _I_ think is that I shouldn't trust, shouldn't listen to a guy that killed me for whatever reasons."

Theo was pretty impressed with Stiles and even though he wished for Void Stiles, he was content with this Stiles as well. One who didn't shy away from anger. Theo really needed to control his face, his lips itching to smirk in triumph. He couldn't show his cockiness in front of Stiles yet, not when he wanted him to join his pack.

"I want you to go now. Don't make me say it again." Stiles threatened but he sounded more tired than dangerous. And now Theo could see his paler than usual face and the deep dark circles under his golden eyes. He looked like death. Theo smiled.

"I saved you." Theo said whilst walking to Stiles' board. He had looked it up while waiting for its owner and had grinned when he saw his name with a question mark in the corner. He took one of the blue strings and connected his name with Stiles one, before turning to the boy again who eyed him warily. "I freed your mind, Stiles.", he said and then walked without another word out of the room.

Stiles just stood there, in the middle of his room and looked at the blue string connecting his own name and Scott's and then down to Theo's. He let out a shout and slammed his fist against the board, before pulling both blue strings from it, letting them fall onto the floor.

* * *

The next day, Stiles woke up to a hand on his shoulder, shaking him lightly. With a groan he turned over and opened his eyes to came face to face with his dad. He had a gentle smile on his face. The Sheriff sat down on the edge of the bed as Stiles sat himself up with a pout gracing his lips.

"You don't have to go to school today if you don't want to." His dad said quietly, an understanding and reassuring tone swung in his voice.

When his dad came home yesterday, he had found Stiles laying face down on his bed. At first Stiles didn't want to talk about anything that happened, but he had a feeling in his chest it would be okay to tell the Sheriff and that he wouldn't judge him for anything. Even though there were no memories of him and his dad together, he felt the connection between them, just like he did with Lydia. So he had told him what had happened between him and Scott and the rest of the pack, told him how he felt when everyone seemed to be against him. The only thing he didn't tell his dad was the fact Theo had been here in his room and that he'd succeed with making Stiles even more suspicious. He did tell him though that he had doubts and didn't trust the pack. And his dad had just listened. He didn't try to talk some sense into him. The only thing he had said was that Stiles should trust his feelings. So he would try to do just that until he figured everything out.

"No, I want to go." Stiles finally said, while rubbing his hands over his face. "I can't hide forever so why starting with it in the first place?"

The Sheriff smiled proudly at his son and petted his arm, before standing up and letting Stiles get ready. As soon as the door closed, Stiles fell back down on the mattress again. He looked up to the ceiling, trying his very best not to fall asleep again. He hadn't slept well the last night, maybe two or three hours. He didn't know if that was part of the ' _consequences_ ' or if he always had problems with sleeping. It wasn't just that he couldn't fall asleep, as soon as he slept, he had nightmares. Stiles woke up at least five times that night until he had enough and stayed up. At some time it seemed like he fell asleep though, because the next time he woke up was to the shaking his father had caused.

Stretching one last time, Stiles swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up. He trotted out of his room and into the bathroom, starting the shower even though he absolutely didn't want to get wet now. Stiles looked into the mirror, while the water was slowly heating up. He looked worse than the day before. The circles under his eyes even darker and standing to a sharp contrast to his pale skin and golden eyes. His hair was a mess, which he could change after the shower, but he had no desire in styling up anyway.

When he stepped into the warm spray of the shower, he asked himself how he would survive school today. He didn't want to see the pack and definitely didn't want their help, but the truth was, he needed someone to guide him through the school and his classes. Grumbling over his own stubbornness, he started scrubbing shampoo in his hair and after that he washed his body. The soap float down and into the drain until nothing but water coated his body again. Stiles shut off the spray, stepped out of the shower and dried himself. After he rubbed the towel furiously over his hair, it stuck out in every direction. He smoothed one hand through the strands and ditched the towel in the hamper. He stood naked in the bathroom and brushed his teeth. The mirror was clouded and Stiles could only see the outlines of his figure, but that was okay with him. He looked like shit and hadn't really any desire to look at his dead face.

After he cleaned himself up, he went to his room again to dress himself. He pulled on his jeans he'd wore yesterday already, before he reached blindly in the closet and grabbed a shirt. It was a white one. He pulled a grey sweater over it, letting the zipper open. Stiles was happy about the casual clothes. He couldn't have handled it if his closet would be full of designer shirts. He was tired and looked like he got rolled over by a train - twice. At least he could feel comfortable in his clothes. He looked for his converse, finding one under the bed and the other by his desk. After pulling them on, he grabbed his books and shoved them all into his backpack, not knowing which one he actually needed today.

He looked out of the window, the sun was shining outside. The world looked happy and alive, the complete opposite of how Stiles felt. Shaking his head at himself, he grabbed his phone and unlocked it. He opened the folder with all his contacts saved in it. One unknown name after the other flashed before him until he finally found Lydia's name. His thumb hovered over her name, not knowing what to do, what to say. He forced himself to push on her name and called her. It rung three times.

"Stiles! Are you okay?" Lydia's concerned voice answered. Guilt build up in Stiles' stomach and he wanted nothing more than to end the call, so he wouldn't have to deal with it. But that wouldn't be fair.

"Hey Lydia." He greeted quietly, while grabbing his bag and slung it over one shoulder. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Lydia let out a relieved sigh, but her answer didn't follow right away. When she finally said something, her voice sounded softer, less worried. "I'm happy you called."

"I- I didn't know if I should call anybody. But then I thought of you and it seemed like a good idea." Stiles admitted. He didn't just call her because he needed her help around school. Lydia made him feel strange things, he thought it were good things, it felt good.

"It is a good idea." Stiles could hear Lydia's smile in her voice. "You wanna meet up at school?"

Stiles trotted out of his room and down the stairs while Lydia talked. When she asked him her question, he nodded as an answer, before realizing she couldn't see him. "Yeah, but.. well, I don't wanna see anyone else."

"Stiles-"

"Please, Lydia." He said while walking into the kitchen, getting his dad's attention. He looked at his son in curiosity, but got ignored because of the coffee pot. Stiles purred himself a mug and let his bag fall onto the floor simultaneously. Then he finally turned to his dad and sat on the chair in front of him.

"You can't avoid everyone. At some time you're going to bump into someone."

"Well, I can try."

"Stiles." She said again.

"I don't wanna see anyone but you this morning." Stiles said in a quiet voice. His dad smiled at him, which earned him an eye roll. "We meet them for lunch, okay? Tell Scott I see him for lunch, but until then I don't wanna talk to him."

Lydia hesitated on the other side of the line. Scott had called her late in the night and had asked if she heard anything from Stiles. When she'd told him no, he'd gotten even more nervous and worried. Lydia felt bad for her boyfriend's best friend. All he wanted was to keep Stiles save. She wasn't good at picking sides, but Stiles closed himself off of everybody and now he decided to call her on his own, she couldn't deny his wishes. "Okay, I'm going to tell him."

"Thanks, Lydia." He said softly, a smile creeping up on his lips without him noticing.

"Always, Stiles."

Stiles heart was beating so fast, it felt like it would jump out of his chest any second. Damn, Lydia. It felt wrong thinking about Lydia the way he did, thinking about her beauty, how her lips might taste, how good she makes him feel. It felt wrong, because he'd just met her, he only knew her for one day. These were facts his brain knew. His heart on the other hand knew that they knew each other for years, that they were together, that they loved each other. It was all so confusing and frustrating. Stiles wanted to drown in his coffee.

After Stiles had ended the call he had a silent breakfast with his dad. The Sheriff made a joke or two about him and Lydia with a content smile on his face whenever Stiles reacted in false annoyance or with another eye roll. The truth was, Stiles felt pretty comfortable around his dad and this house. It was one of the few thing that kinda felt familiar and save.

The Sheriff was the first one to drive to work. Just like the day before he made sure Stiles had everything he needed and when his son confirmed he was okay and he would drive to school soon anyway, the older man didn't hesitate anymore and drove off.

Stiles, just like he promised his dad, finished his breakfast and made his own way out of the house. He climbed into his Jeep, he really grew to love within the one day. Stiles was nervous. He hoped Scott respected his wishes and didn't speak to him until lunch. It wasn't that much of a difference, but he just wasn't ready yet to face anyone else. So it was kinda stupid to go to school today, but it was like he said to himself earlier. Hiding wouldn't do him any good either.  
When he arrived at school, he quickly found a parking spot for his Jeep, even though there were quiet a lot people in front of the school already. Stiles did his very best not to panic as he grabbed his bag and made his way toward the front doors. There were so many other teenagers and he didn't know any of them. His pulse speed up, his breathing came quick, it felt like there wasn't enough air to breath. He stopped in the middle of the crowd. Stiles wanted desperately out of there, but suddenly he couldn't move anymore. His vision blurred, his sight going in and out of focus, while he still struggled to breath. Just as his knees got weak and he was about to collapse, two strong hands slung themselves around his upper arms. He got dragged out of the crowd and to the side of the school, where he suddenly leaned again a wall. The face in front of him was blurry, so he pressed his palms against his eyes. When he opened them again he saw Theo in front of him, which only made his panic attack worse. Stiles tried to get away from the other boy, but he held him in a firm grip, watching him closely.

“Calm down, Stiles. Come on, breath.” Theo tried to calm him down. He never had to deal with panic attack before, so he really didn't know what to do exactly. But trying to calm the one down who had the attack seemed logical to him. “Just.. concentrate on my breathing okay. Do it with me.”

Despite his trust issues and anger toward Theo he listened to him and focused on his breathing. He tried to breath with him, just like he did it with Scott when he came back from death. Stiles looked at Theo's face and saw nothing else as concern. His brain working over his confusion about this boy brought him back again. His breath stabilized and his heart calmed down to a steady rhythm.

“There you go.” Theo said with a small grin and petted him on the shoulder, before going a few steps back to give Stiles his space. He wanted to stay with him, talk to him again and maybe getting him to change his mind. Theo wanted to show he wasn't the bad guy and that he just proved that by helping Stiles. But he knew Stiles wouldn't buy that anyway. That boy had more trust issues than before, which he didn't think was possible before. A flash of read hair in the crowd before the school let him change his plans about talking with Stiles a little more though.

“Lydia's coming.” He clapped Stiles on his shoulder again. “I'm gonna get going. You're okay?”

Stiles eyed Theo in front of him, before he nodded slowly. He wanted to make a comment about how Theo seemed to be too afraid to face anyone of Scott's pack, but decided on last second otherwise. Theo had just helped him through a god damn panic attack which hid him out of no where. The last thing he could do was thank Theo by swallowing his snarky comments.

When Theo was gone, Stiles took a few more calming breaths, before he stumbled to the corner of the building in the direction of a worried Lydia, who had seen him before and had ran towards Stiles' hunched over figure. Even before she reached him, she stretched her arms out to him as if she would be faster like that.

“Stiles, what happened? Did you have another attack?” She asked in full concern, while wrapping her arms around his neck. Stiles returned her hug without question. That was something he needed right now. Lydia's form fit perfectly to his body, which made him smile into her hair. He nodded as an answer to her almost forgotten question.

“Who was that earlier? Did he trigger the attack?”

“No, er.. that was someone from the lacrosse team, I think. He helped me.” Stiles lied. He hid his face in Lydia's strawberry curls, not wanting to face her, while he lied to her.

“Thank god, he was there for you.” Lydia sounded relieved.

Stiles didn't miss the ironic in this situation. _If only she knew_ _._

 


End file.
